Fag Pimp Brand

["Now this, of course, is clearly offensive..."]

Here's 11 minutes you won't regret: Russell Brand interviews two Jesus freaks from the Westboro Baptist Church [SPOILER ALERT: Madonna, Tom Hanks and Gandhi are all going straight to hell] and then stokes their homophobic fire by bringing three of his gay friends onstage for a meet-and-greet.  

Let's just say the fellas with God on their side [allegedly] don't hold out much hope for the eternal salvation of Brand's homoseckshul pals, nor him, the audience or just about anyone else for that matter.  

As Brand might say, "Lovely religion you've got there, mate!"

[h/t Gawker]

Truth

Aptly-Named Retrograde Legislation

The "Blunt" Amendment.

We Don't Need No Education

This post at Pandagon about "the Catholic vote" got me to thinking about my own Catholic education. As a fallen Catholic who spent 8 out of 12 of my youthful school years getting a Catholic education, I always explain the experience like this: If you can see your way around the religion classes, a good Catholic school education teaches you just enough to drive you away from the Church forever. They teach you history and science and mathematics and economics and language and multiculturalism to a level you could never get at a public school (at least in my area), and by the time you’re done you know that the Catholic leadership is full of hooey. Kind of ironic when you think about it.

Sunday Morning Door-Knockers

[click image for larger view.]

The Worst People in the World

The people in charge of the Catholic Church.

The Mafia's got nothing on them.

Important Question in a Borderline Theocracy

"Remember Man that thou art dust, and unto dust thou shalt return."

Today being Ash Wednesday, do you suppose Rick Santorum and/or Newt Gingrich (each an alleged Catholic) will show up at the Republican debate tonight with ashes on their foreheads? That would be the strict liturgical requirement, no?

What does it mean if one or both shows up clean of forehead?

Easy Fix to the "Conscience Clause" Problem

If the Catholic Church is really so "hell-bent" against its agnostic, atheist, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Zoroastrian and Catholic employees using contraception, then maybe what they ought to do is forego their exemption from paying taxes.

Then they can set the terms for their workers' insurance coverage however they want.

I'd be down with that.

The Power of the Almighty

If a series of jokes about the Holocaust, conjoined twins and Lou Gehrig's Disease can't convince you there is no God, then I don't know what will. This clip is a brilliant take-down of The Almighty.

If at First You Don't Succeed....

Gotta give the Rapture preacher fraud con artist charlatan bonus points for ballsy stick-to-itiveness. He's predicting a new date for The End. Will anybody really buy into his line of apocalyptic bullshit again?!?

Of course they will.

The Aftermath

This guy's wife -- and just about everyone else he knows -- thinks he's a total moron. Dude took the entire month before "the Rapture" off from work to read the Bible and await Armageddon.

“He used to be normal, [his wife said.] Now all he can talk about is the Bible and this May 21 stuff. He took all his vacation days in a row, so all he’s doing the last four weeks is sitting around reading the Bible and driving me nuts. Thank God he didn’t quit his job like some of them did.”

Rapture Ridicule: Why Not?

Don't you think the fools and morons who believed this nonsense were just crying out to be made fun of? Traumatized? How about the trauma of selling all your worldly possessions and the whole thing still not coming off?

Rapture: Much Ado About Nothing.

Still here, shuffling along this mortal coil.

Post Rapture Looting: Happening Now

Superstitions

This story from the LA Times about Chinese superstitions regarding the number "4" reminds me of the time I went out to appraise a house that had the unfortunate address "666." When I got there, there was no "666," though there was a "664." Turns out the people who lived there had petitioned the city and the post office to let them change the number.

I wonder if they got Raptured today?

Post-Rapture Analysis

Does this mean all the Republicans -- and half the Democrats, let's be fair -- are gone now?

Post-Rapture Looting Planned

Are YOU attending? Lots of free stuff should be available, but only if you've failed to accept Jeezuz Christ as your Lord and Savior. [Is it really looting if the people who once owned the stuff have vanished from the face of the Earth?]

Show of Hands Please

How many of you awaiting the Rapture paid your credit card bills this week? Picked up your dry cleaning? Planned a vacation? Gave money to your church??

Imagine There’s No Heaven.

We'll know for sure on Saturday. Saturday's the day, comes the Rapture. May 21 is the day we’ll finally be rid of this guy; and these people; and them; and him; and her; and him. Saturday’s the day I can pick up that sweet ride I’ve had my eye on because the "Christian" dude who owns it is heading heavenward (he hopes!). Come to think of it, maybe I can pick up one of his sweet hats too!

Yes, Saturday’s the day we heathens finally get the world to ourselves. And without religion mucking things up, you can bet it will be a much, much better place.

ThanksbetoGod.