Five Word Movie Reviews: The Thin Red Line

Way better than Apocalypse Now.

Really.

Eff tha [Food] Police

Every time I read one of these silly articles about how red meat will kill you (this one is particularly alarmist), I'm reminded of this classic scene from Woody Allen's "Sleeper"...

Movie Recap

Happened to catch "Soylent Green" on AMC over the weekend. I won't give away the ending, but the filmmakers put the population of New York City at 40 million in the year 2022.

Fradenscheude

I just saw the movie "I Am." I have decided to make a difference, in my own small way, by practicing the art of Fradenscheude.

This is when you take pleasure in the good fortune of others.

It's a step in the right direction.

I will get back to you when I've formulated my plan to change the world.

In the meantime, congratulations!

Winnebago Man

[NSFW]

"Listen I'm gonna give a clue here now. I don't want any more bullshit any time during the day, from anyone. That includes me. It's going to be very hot, gonna be very uncomfortable for everybody. Don't want anybody yelling. We get anybody yelling around here any more today and then the shit is gonna hit the fan." -- Winnebago Man

"Winter's Bone's" Jennifer Lawrence at the Oscars

Nicely done.

....Redrum....

[Click image for larger view.]

Photo of the hallway at the hotel we stayed at down in LA this weekend. I kept waiting for a kid on a tricycle to come around the corner and say, "Tony, I'm scared."

RIP Pete Postlethwaite

If you happened to see Ben Affleck's latest movie "The Town," then you saw Pete Postlethwaite (who died yesterday at 64) at his character-actor best. In this scene from "The Town," Postlethwaite radiates merciless IRA brutality as he reveals he "gelded" Affleck's dad for double-crossing him, drove his mom to suicide, and then threatens to kill Ben's girlfriend almost as an afterthought, all the while calmly snipping the thorns off rose clippings while a heavily-armed henchman stands by in his "day job" as the local neighborhood florist.

Feckin' brilliant!

Two-Word Irish Movie Reviews

True Grit: Good fillum.

Teabaggers Discuss the President's Religion

Sounds Like a Revolution

A new film from Guerrilla Funk Filmworks.

It's Only a Movie...It's Only a Movie...

A bunch of teenage girls are already lining up outside the Fremont Theater in downtown SLO for the premiere of the new Twilight movie. In fact, many were already camped out as I walked by on my way in to work at 7:15 this morning.

The "film" opens tomorrow night tonight at midnight.

CORRECTION (06/30/10): It was last night at midnight, meaning fans waited only waited about 18 hours in line, not 36.

Pre-Parody

If it were possible to make a parody film 35 years before the inspiration for the send-up were even produced, then Monty Python and the Holy Grail would be the ultimate knock-off of the Robin Hood flick in theaters now. We went to the this filum last night and, I must say, I chuckled out loud on at least a half-dozen occasions as Russell Crowe and his band of Merry Men walked straight into several scenes right out of The Holy Grail.

For starters, the costumes are nearly identical, right down to the king’s crown. Every time they showed anyone riding on horseback I kept expecting to see attendants trailing behind banging coconuts together.

Additional scenes harkening back to the brilliant Python comedy included:

---When Robin Hood first encounters Maid Marian she is on her knees toiling in the dirt. “Young girl...” Robin says.
“Woman," she replies, "I’m a woman, not a girl." And off we go into the Dennis the Peasant sketch, or at least we should have.

--- After King Richard has been killed, the assassins are rushing his crown back to France’s King Philip, Robin Hood and the gang head them off at the pass, blocking the way with the immortal words (I kid you not): “None shall pass.” Carrying the parallel a bit further, Robin challenges the men, offering to let them by if they can…wait for it…answer a riddle.

---After Maid Marian’s father-in-law convinces Robin Hood to pose as her lost husband, a celebration ensues in which much merriment is made by all. The party may as well have been an outtake from the Pythons’ celebration at Camelot. “It is a silly place.”

---During King Richard’s assault on the French castle, the French knights (whose helmets are exactly like those of the “kin-niggits” in Holy Grail), dump a black substance over the turrets that I’m assuming is tar but for all the world may as well be the shit that was dumped on Arthur and Galahad at the close of Holy Grail.

---An attendant approaches Robin with the immortal words: “Message for you sir.”

The commonalities between the two films turned Robin Hood into a farce for me. The movie was overwrought in the very way that made Python’s parody the brilliant comedy that it is.

One Sentence Movie Review

Amanda at Pandagon on "Iron Man 2":

"Holy cow, did that suck shit-covered maggot balls."

Precious

Precious.

Certain not to be a blockbuster, but no less worthy of a movie. Surely it will be far too uncomfortable for lots of people -- black, white and/or otherwise -- to ever go see this important film. From the LAT:

Richard Yarborough, an associate professor of English and African American Studies at UCLA, says there might be something else to the aversion for not just blacks, but all Americans. "The abject degradation of black people in 'Precious' is as close as you can get to a modern film that may be similar to a film about slavery," says Yarborough. He points out that slave-era films such as "Beloved" and " Amistad" didn't do well at the box office, and those were mainstream movies with big budgets and established directors. Those movies also presented widespread black exploitation and oppression as phenomena of the past; "Precious" has no such buffer.

One Word Movie Review

Wolverine = stooooooopid.

The French Taunting

This is where I'll be at 7:30 tonight.

Favorite Current Movie Title Translation

El Mas Rapido y el Furioso

Tellin' It

Mickey Rourke accepts his Best Actor trophy at the Spirit Awards and delivers the Best Acceptance Speech ever...

Movie Metaphor

As the US economy plunges ever deeper into a bottomless financial maelstrom, I picture George W. Bush at home in Connecticut Maine Massachusetts Texas, blissfully unaware (or unmindful, at any rate) of the serious damage he's done to the country and its citizens. Then I remember that he probably is aware, because there was always a malevolent evil lurking behind that smirk...

I believe this movie clip sums up the Bush administration and its "achievements" quite nicely. James Dean stars as George W. Bush, his car is the US economy, and actor Corey Allen (as "Buzz Gunderson") stands in for the American taxpayer...