Little Lord Fauntleromney goes into
full damage-control mode:
“First and foremost, I would like to offer a heartfelt apology to all the whores, junkies, bums, and grime-covered derelicts out there who make up nearly half our nation. Let me assure you that I in no way meant to offend any of the putrid-smelling, barefoot masses out there. My campaign is not about dividing this nation, but about bringing all sides together—the rich, elegant members of the upper class, as well as the 47 percent who are covered in flies and eat directly from back-alley dumpsters."
“I am fully committed to building a better future for every American, and that means ensuring all 150 million grease-and-urine-soaked members of our society get a fair shake.”
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