DMOP likes to keep herself in a “self-defense mindset.” Why? Are there scary monsters lurking behind the bushes of her house? Have the terrorists already succeeded in taking out New York, Washington, Chicago and every other major American city and are now moving in on suburban Tennessee? Is American civilization teetering on the brink of total collapse and about to be overrun by marauding biker gangs a la The Postman?
And what does she do to keep herself in a self-defense mindset? Does she take kick-boxing lessons? Does she shoot targets on the firing range? Do she and the Ole Perfesser take bows and arrows with them on a canoing trip into the wilds of the Deep South? No, no and no. She instead goes down to her basement and reads a book. A BOOK. This has to be the least self-defense-y thing I’ve ever seen anyone do. What is she going to do when those Mexican-Arab biker gangs storm into her condo and demand that she hand over her entire stash of ice creams? Will she be like, “Hey, buttholes, you don’t know who you’re messin’ with! I JUST READ A FUCKING BOOK!!! OOGAH-BOOGAH-BOOGAH!!!!!”
Read the whole thing here.
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