The Most Difficult Painful Music Lesson Ever Learned (Sorry Move, You Suck)

We all enjoy a good chuckle at the suckiness of Spinal Tap, now and again don't we? But it's a rare occasion that we acknolwedge that the ST farce stemmed from the real life suck-i-tude of countless unlistenable bands.

Well, ladies and germs, I do believe I've found the example-par-non, the coup de gras, the nadir, if you will, of de complete suck-i-tude vs. the apotheosis of complete and total genius. Take as long as you wish on clip 1, and then listen to clip 2, all the way through.

Le Bad (Blackberry Way):


Le Beatles (Penny Lane):

Why Not Just Join the National Gaahhd?

Some things haven't changed just because Obama's preznit.

Supermajority?

When a weak-chinned, lily-livered putz like Harry Reid's yer leader, who the hell cares? I got news for ya people, back when they was in elementary skool, Tom Delay usta shake Harry PotterReid down for his lunch money and come away with extra for dinner.

Time for some new leadership, Democrates*!

[*sp on purpose]

Teabagging @ 0:57

The Al Franken Decade Begins

They (finally) really like him.

Aw, Dude....

Farrah Fawcett laid to rest.

Let me tell you about the two times I met Farrah.

When you were a kid growing up in SoCal there were a lot of opportunities to go and watch the Hollywood studios filming shows on location. My mom and dad made sure to give us lots of chances to take part in that fun aspect of SoCal life.

So this one time, they were filming Charlie's Angels at some hotel in Thousand Oaks. It's probably some famous ritzy hotel, but I was only 14 years old at the time, so for the life of me I can remember the name of it. That said, we drove on out there to check out the Angels. I can't say for sure -- and alas he's not around to ask anymore -- but I'm pretty sure my dad was just as psyched to see Farrah in person as I was.

Back then, pops was smart enough to encourage we kids to get autograph books and over the years I got plenty of signatures in there: Richard Petty, Reggie Jackson, Catfish Hunter, LeVar Burton, Gabe Kaplan, Freddie Prinz etc....but it's surely pretty cool to look in that book and see Kate Jackson, Farrah and Jaclyn Smith all in there.

So we're "on location." And they're filming this scene where the Angels all drive up -- each in their individual cars, as you may recall -- and then they get out and walk in. After the shoot, they all come walking over to mix with the fans and sign some autographs.

One thing that still sticks in my mind is how small they seemed. I was a tiny-teenager, prolly 5'3" or 5'4" if I was lucky at age 14, and even Kate Jackson ("the tall one") wasn't that much taller than me. Farrah was a bit taller and Jaclyn, well, I looked her right in the eye. I got all their autographs and they were super cool. [Imagine Jaclyn asking me my name and then signing the autograph: "To Jim. Love, Jaclyn." That's the ticket! I'm looking at it, right now!]

Anyway, that's the time I got the Angels' autographs.

A few weeks/months later, we went down to Pepperdine University and watched "The Battle of the Network Stars." It was epic. Farrah was there and she was getting mobbed by fans. When she came to me to give me a hug and an autograph I told her, "It's okay, I've met you before," and she smiled that 1-million watt smile and made a little small talk and then gave me another bigger hug. Mighta become a man that day. Here's the "Up Close and Personal Farrah" with Howard Cosell and Rona Barrett. Freaking Howard Cosell interviews Farrah!! 1970s television doesn't get any better than this.

FARRAH dammit! She wore Nikes before Mike.

The King of Clusterf*ck

No doubt if this 30-car-motorcade-from-LA-followed-by-public-viewing-at-Neverland happens it will surely shut down the Santa Ynez Valley for daze. I mean, we'd be talking a bajillion people from all over the world, right? There's but one two-lane road in and out of that place. Anderson's Pea Soup will be all over it, though.

Ruining Roadtrips for Married Men Everywhere

Far be it from me to pass moral judgement on hypocritical and peripathetic peripatetic South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, but could somebody tell him to pipe down and keep his mouth shut? He's going to ruin a lot of good old-fashioned Vegas trips if he keeps spouting this kind of ridiculous nonsense...

[Sanford] said that during the encounters with other women he "let his guard down" with some physical contact but "didn't cross the sex line." He wouldn't go into detail.

Sanford, 49, said the casual encounters happened outside the U.S. while he was married but before he met Chapur, on trips to "blow off steam" with male friends.

Pshaw! As if.

And I hate to break it to the Governor, but I don't hold out much hope for this effort either...

During an emotional interview at his Statehouse office with The Associated Press on Tuesday, Sanford said Chapur is his soul mate but he's trying to fall back in love with his wife.

I'd like a show of hands from all the wives and girlfriends out there please: If your man told you another woman was his "soul mate," but he would try to "fall back in love" with you, how far into the reconciliation process would you go? I'm guessing it would only be far enough to reconcile his brain with your frying pan.

Dude, you're in a deep dark hole. Quit digging!

A Classic Tautology

So long as legislators think lower cost health care is a problem, the one thing we will never achieve is the one thing we are allegedly trying to achieve...lower cost health care.

Mission Accomplished [?]

Four US troops were killed in Iraq the very day they (we) completed a withdrawal from major Iraqi cities. Of course, 130,000 American soliders remain in country. Tough mission to accomplish, apparently.

And so it goes.

Absolute Freaking Loon

There's no other way to describe it.

News Flash!

Contraception is not abortion...no matter what your bishop or the right-wing loon down the street tells you. And anybody who sez so is just an evil, calculating, cynical bastard.

Punked

"Bolivian TV channel PAT has been left looking a bit daft after broadcasting extraordinary images of the last moments of Air France flight 447, lost over the Atlantic on 1 June:

"According to the report, the snaps were retrieved from a recovered Casio Z750, which was subsequently traced via the serial number to its owner - "Paulo G. Muller, an actor from a well-known children's theatre on the outskirts of Porto Alegre".

"In fact, the camera can be traced to ABC Studios and sharp-eyed readers will notice that the photographs feature well-known actress Evangeline Lilly, aka Kate Austen from TV series Lost.

"PAT has fallen hook, line and sinker for a hoax email, and to add to its embarrassment, has failed to appreciate that while the flight 447 disaster occurred at night, the images represent the daytime fictional break-up of Oceanic Flight 815

"Update: According to a Digg commenter, the newscaster explains that the camera was destroyed, but the memory card was somehow recovered."

Beat It

I'm not sure what the deal is, but somebody's label or another has put the kibosh on any of us regular folk posting the World Famous, Ground Breaking, Smack Yerself Upside the Head MJ/EVH video known as BEAT IT. So, here's all you get visually...

UNLESS... you click here, you'll get the full show.

I'll just say this...if for no other reason, Beat It was revolutionary because the song made it okay for rockers to like disco. Prior to, and we're talking BeeGees and KC and the Sunshine Band, nobody cool could like disco. It was just plain not okay. Then...along came Eddie Van Halen and this oh-so-unlikely pairing with Michael freaking Jackson.

Are you kidding me?!?!

Freaky...Serious...Sad

The MJ 911 call.

Just the Diversion They Needed

While the Michael Jackson story is [understandably] overshadowing all others right about now, watch for FOX News to pounce on the "Monica Conyers pleads guilty to perjury" case to the exclusion of all the embarrassing pecadilloes of Republican politicians that have come to light of late. How convenient.

Yet Another Loss

First Ed, then Farrah, then Michael Jackson...

...now comes word of the passing of Sky Saxon, the man behind The Seeds.

The Truth About Your Insurance Company

Insurance companies put payouts for health care down as a loss in their ledgers.

The industry, Potter says, is driven by "two key figures: earnings per share and the medical-loss ratio, or medical-benefit ratio, as the industry now terms it. That is the ratio between what the company actually pays out in claims and what it has left over to cover sales, marketing, underwriting and other administrative expenses and, of course, profits."

Think about that term for a moment: The industry literally has a term for how much money it "loses" paying for health care.

Read the whole sordid story here, then tell us why we should ever believe anything those charlatans say.

Observation

What a weird week.

Not to be Forgotten

Farrah Fawcett, 1949-2009

Here's Farrah using her feminine wiles in a guest spot on The Partridge Family...

Jackson Five: In the Beginning

Michael Jackson may have turned out pretty freaky and not a little bit creepy in the long run, but back in the day, he and his brothers put out some classic pop music.

RIP MJ 1958-2009.

...Made You Cringe...

"Never put it down in writing, the old man said. I didn't know it then but now I know what he meant." --Bob Geldof.

Mark Sanford writes an email:

You have a particular grace and calm that I adore. You have a level of sophistication that so fitting with your beauty. I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night's light - but hey, that would be going into sexual details ...

Lastly I also suspect I feel a little vulnerable because this is ground I have never certainly never covered before - so if you have pearls of wisdom on how we figure all this out please let me know... In the meantime please sleep soundly knowing that despite the best efforts of my head my heart cries out for you, your voice, your body, the touch of your lips, the touch of your finger tips and an even deeper connection to your soul.

Prob'ly shouldn't oughta done that.

Weird Al: Craigslist

Public Option

Sure the AMA opposes a public option national health plan, its been on the wrong side of a lot of issues ...

...the A.M.A. supported segregation, opposed President Harry Truman’s plans for national health insurance, backed tobacco, denounced Medicare and opposed President Bill Clinton’s health reform plan.

The Accidental [Argentinian] Tourist

The Mark Sanford excursion: Epic. Fail.

This was no summertime jaunt to the exotic beachs of beautiful Argentina. It's the freaking dead of winter there. In fact, June 21st is the Winter Solstice, the shortest (and generally the coldest) day of the year. There ain't no girls in bikinis in BA this time of year.

Sanford Mystery Solved; No Surprises

Now we know. Don't cry for South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford. He's not your run-of-the-mill philandering hypocrite. He's gone global!

Hat tip to Vic, who predicted this thing was a "cheating on the wife" scandal right from the get-go. Nice call, Dude, your cynicism knows no bounds, nor should it.

Hiking the Argentine Trail

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford comes clean...allegedly. I wonder if you have to take the Bridge to Nowhere to get to Argentina from the Appalachian Trail?

PS -- The Appalachian Trail is a big beneficiary of all that stimulus money Sanford was so loathe to accept. Naturally.

HAARM

Heeeeeeere's Johnny!

The passing of Ed McMahon recalls for me one particularly foggy evening in Las Vegas...untold years ago, perhaps 20, when yours truly had a brush with Second Banana greatness.

It was, as always, a classic weekend of Vegas debauchery. The usual suspects were all in attendance: Clifford, Baughb, Reek, Biggest, Hornet...all under full sail and no one operating under his real name. Stragglers and hangers-on may have included T&A, Ghost, Floyd...hell I don't know.

I do recall it was during the era when the Tropicana was always home base for our crew, which at this point in Vegas's history is clearly dating us, but we always had ourselves a right good time regardless.

I also recall Baughb and I staggering sauntering through the lobby area just below the food court and stumbling coming upon Ray "Boom Boom" Mancini, deep in the midst of his boxing workout. It was post-Duk Koo Kim and was something of a comeback for Boom Boom. Not that anybody really villainized him for what happened, but just try to imagine stepping back into the ring after something like that.

Anyway, I'd never actually seen a fighter work out in detail, and I was floored by Boom Boom's training regimen. Sparring, jumping rope, medicine ball, push-ups, push-ups on the medicine ball, sparring, jumping rope, medicine ball, more push ups...etc, etc, etc.... It was an endless torture chamber that inspired me to the point that I decided I never wanted to be a boxer, ever, no matter what. I was so tired after watching him I could barely lift another beer. But I did.

So Baughb and I pretty much drank everything they had in the food court whilst we were watching Boom Boom work out, vicariously getting stronger by the minute, then we headed over to the sports book to play the ponies (another activity for which I had/have little acumen and even less interest).

We found a couple open spots in the Book, next to a fella who looked like he knew what the hell he was doing -- Bud bottle, reading glasses perched low on the nose, tiny pencil sharpened down to the nub, every racing form and sports page imaginable unfolded and spread out all across the table, spent race tickets littering the floor -- and we ordered a couple of beers.

After a while, we struck up a conversation with this Oscar Madison Charles Bukowski-like fella sitting there next to us, and he seemed to take a bit of an interest in our glib drunkenness and tales of derring do, at least until I caught sight of a monster truck event on a side TV and tried to make the case to him that horses running in the mud had some parallels to a monster truck mud bog. I believe it was at that point he decided he was done with us and pretty much ordered us to get the hell away from him.

Things getting a little dicey at that point, I lost track of Baughb but found myself nearing the line for whatever premiere event the Trop had going on that night, and I said to myself, "Self, you've never seen a real live Las Vegas show, and tonight is the night you're gonna do it."

I checked the line, which was an endless snake up a curved ramp from the casino floor to the arena entrance. I walked all the way up, passing who knows who all standing on line, telling myself I simply was not going to wait. If I got in, fine, but no waiting.

At the head of the line, at the door (still unopened), was Ed McMahon! That's right, Ed fucking McMahon. "Ed!" I shouted, and being the genuine good guy I'm sure you've been hearing about for the past few hours, Ed said back, "Hey, Howahya?"

I walked up and shook his hand and exchanged pleasantries and pretty much acted like he was my best buddy in the whole woild, and he reciprocated with relish and glee. When the doors opened, I walked straight through with Ed McMahon.

Problem was, Ed had a seat, into which he quickly settled. I, on the other hand, had no seat. Now, at many events this might not prove much of a problem, as one could wander around and evade the powers that be. But this event, in the Trop, was a sit-down deal. So eventually I sat down, in this seat here and that seat there. One can only get relocated so many times before one runs out of options. Which I did.

I had many many official types (bouncers, security, waiters) coming at me from this direction and that, and eventually I got tossed out on my keister, back out into the general population, back out into the real party, back out with the peeps. Back out with Baughb and Cliff and Reek and the Biggest.

And the party continued.

And that's my story of the time I met Ed McMahon.

"Hiking the Appalachian Trail"

Say no more...wink wink, nudge nudge...knowhatimean...?

This Governor Mark Sanford/off the reservation thing has to be one of the stranger political stories we've seen in a while. Remember, this is the guy who has had his face plastered all over every cable news channel on the dial for the past three months shouting to the high heavens that he doesn't want Obama's stimulus money and he ain't gonna take it unless the legislature and the South Carolina state supreme court make him (which they did, BTW). And now he's off "hiking the Appalachian trail" for the past five days?!?! Skipped out on Father's Day? Hasn't spoken to his wife since last week? WTF? Something really weird is going on.

The Ghost thinks he's got a bimbo on the side, which would clearly put "hiking the Appalachian trail" into the Euphemistic Hall of Fame.

And as if to add to the intrigue, chew this tidbit over for a sec:

Check out this set of facts. Fact 1: Gov. Mark Sanford went missing Thursday and hasn't been seen since. Fact 2: His staff has since told us that the governor has been hiking the Appalachian Trail. Fact 3: Sunday was "Naked Hiking Day" on the Appalachian Trail. We kid you not.

Well, the Gov's due back in the office tomorrow morning. From what I can see, he's got some 'splaining to do.

Press Conference Recap

In the event you missed President Obama's press conference from earlier today, the moonshine patriot has posted a [loose] transcript. Some of the choice exchanges follow...

Obama: Ok I want to say at the outset that of course I condemn the psychotics beating protestors in Iran and there is a retrograde group of knuckleheads who want to claim the US is interfering in the Iran and inciting violence and seize their country and overthrow their government - I am talking of course about the Republican party.
[...]

Q: will you still talk to Iran what with all the killing?

Obama: well sure it looks bad but I don't hate the Persians or their wacky religion all I want is for them to pull their godamm heads out of their asses.
[...]

Obama: but look if you want to know who won an election you don’t look to see who has the best bat-wielding motorcycle riding maniacs.
[...]

Obama: hells my dog Bo got a credit card with
a $5,000 limit!

Q: wow

Obama: I know! I'm not paying for his night out on the town with some bitch he met on Petfinder!
[...]

Q: what took you so long to express your meaningless outrage about an election in a far-off country where we have a history of illegal interference?

Obama: because I'm not a total dumbass and didn't want to give the Iranian government ammunition!
[...]

Q: Will a public plan destroy America?

Obama: Look dipshit premiums are doubling every 9 years - at this rate they will swallow the whole planet!

Obama: oh I know everyone is worried about the deficit - well guess what fuckers it's because we have really high costs and a shitty system with 47 million uninsured

Q: oh

Obama: i want to cut costs, treat people, and spend money efficiently

Q: like how?

Obama: like take it away from insurance companies who waste it on trips to Vegas - yeah i said it Goodman!

Obama: jesus h christ you've got people out there who think they are insured and suddenly they're out 50,000 motherfuckin dollars!
[...]

Obama: Look we all know insurers only have one job - take your money today and tell your to fuck off tomorrow

But look if you believe in the free market and then what the fuck are you worried about?

Jake Tapper: but you promised that employers would keep health insurance forever

Obama: no I never did

Tapper: i know that
[...]

Suzanne: did you see the video of Neda??

Obama: yeah it's not as much fun as all the cat videos on YouTube

Suzanne: will you let people in Iran vote?

Obama: i support freedom of speech unlike some previous administrations I could mention - but this is about Iran not America and as Martin Luther King said the Justice League will prevail!

Not So Fast

Before you get the idea that any improvement in the national unemployment rate means good news for the American economy, you should first consider that perhaps a decline in the number of people collecting unemployment really means people have exhausted their benefits.

Obviously Proesthetic Ears and Gangly Frame

Congratulations

George W. Bush: You fucked up the whole world.

Right Now

An illegal immigrant is plotting to take your job. Work harder!

So It Goes

Thank Got we won that war back in 2003 or so. Everything's copacetic now...

Reporting from Baghdad and Taza Khurmatu, Iraq -- A suicide truck bomb killed at least 70 people and wounded 182 others today in a primarily Turkmen town in northern Iraq less than two weeks before the withdrawal of most U.S. forces from inside Iraq's cities

What do we do now.....?

Reporting from Tehran -- A huge swath of downtown Tehran erupted in fiery chaos today as helmeted security forces and pro-government militias armed with tear gas and water cannons battled stone-throwing protesters defying warnings from the country's supreme leader against further demonstrations over a disputed presidential election.

Imaginary World

Without the Iraq War we'd have $1,000,000,000,000 [with a 'T'] to throw at our economic problems.

Something in the Water?

How come every time they show a picture of a female protester in Iran she looks like a supermodel?

The Sound of Shit Hitting the Fan

Looks like FOX News had the scoop on Ensign well before the story came to light. Look at the letter Doug Hampton (the cheated-upon husband of Ensign's paramour) wrote to FOX a week or so before the Nevada philandering scumbag came clean...

Thursday, June 11, 2009
Fox News- Corporate Office 1211 Avenue of the America’s (sic)
New York, New York 10036

Megyn Kelly,

More than any time in my life I understand why people take matters into their own hands. I am disheartened! I have sought wise counsel, tried to do the right thing and continue to run into road blocks (sic) in dealing with a very terrible circumstance and injustice that lives in my life. I am hoping you and Fox News can help.

My name is Doug Hampton. I am a former employee of US (sic) Senator John Ensign. I worked for Senator Ensign in his official government office on Capitol Hill from November 2006 to April 2008. My responsibilities were the oversight of his personnel in Washington as well as the state of Nevada. Duties included budgets, policy and public speaking on behalf of the Senator and his initiatives.

Here is my story. In December of 2007 in the midst of some very difficult personal issues that deeply impacted my family and marriage, Senator Ensign pursued and engaged in a relationship with my wife. Our families were lifelong friends, our children attend school together to this day, and our homes are in neighborhoods across from each other. My wife was the Senator’s campaign treasurer. [and on and on it goes, each paragraph more desperate and incriminating than the last...]

The suspicion is the FOX News tipped Ensign off to the letter, and then he resigned as a preemptive measure. FOX, despite knowing of the affair well in advance of Ensign's admission, was still third out of the gate getting the story on the air. "Fair and balanced?" "We report, you decide?" It's not journalism, it's FOX News.

Headline of the Day

[click image for larger view]

Lying? Lying.

It's FOX News: "Insulting the intelligence of their viewers everyone else, every day."

High School with Ashtrays

It's like they're members of the high school student council and they just make shit up as they go along and then pat each other on the back for being oh so smart. And the people in charge are those same douchebags you always made fun of while you were doing cool shit in the parking lot. Who the hell cares what Max Baucus and Kent Conrad think? I just want somebody to fix goddamn health care...right fucking now! Mr. President?

Seven senators have formed a bipartisan group to find consensus on health-care reform legislation, a sign of fresh momentum after a week of setbacks.

The group, dubbed by its members as the "Coalition of the Willing," includes Finance Chairman Max Baucus (D-Mont.) and the ranking Republican on the panel, Sen. Charles Grassley (Iowa). Others who attended the first meeting this afternoon in the Capitol included Sen. Jeff Bingaman (D-N.M.), Senate Budget Chairman Kent Conrad (D-N.D.), and GOP Sens. Orrin Hatch (Utah), Olympia Snowe (Maine), and Mike Enzi (R-Wyo.), the ranking minority member of the Senate health committee.

Atrios nails it when he reminds us what happened with the last "Coalition of the Willing."

TPM on Colbert

If the Hornet were ever to appear on The Colbert Report, this is just about exactly how it would go...

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Joshua Micah Marshall
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Stephen Colbert in Iraq

"This...is CNN"

[CNN website poll question.]

Weak Pasta

If you're careful where your hard-earned dollars are spent, you might want to avoid weak-kneed corporate restaurants that bow to wingnuts and serve crappy Italian food...

Following a week of back and forth between CBS late night comic David Letterman and Sarah Palin over a crude joke he told about the Alaska Republican governor’s daughter, the Olive Garden restaurant says it is cancelling all of its scheduled ads on Letterman’s “Late Show” for the rest of the year.

Local Shenanigans

Proving that sexual shenanigans are not the exclusive domain of big-time politicos like Ensign, Vitter, Spitzer and Edwards, we've got our own little brouhaha going on right here in San Luis Obispo County. Suffice it to say, if your underling is getting a divorce, best not to buy her a book called "Getting Naked Again," even if it is a relatively innocent guide to dating after a break-up.

I always thought David Edge was an alright guy, albeit a British transplant. But it sounds to me like he overplayed his hand a bit in dealing with Gail Wilcox, a woman who has a history of stirring the pot in the impropriety department. Now he's gotten himself fired and he's being sued for sexual harassment. Nice going Dave.

Preferred Idiom

It's RBIs, not RBI.

"Derek Jeter had 3 RBIs" as opposed to "Derek Jeter had 3 RBI."

The latter only makes you sound presumptuous like a douchebag.

Postponed: Ensign's Political Future

The Republican Party in Nevada has a slogan: "It is time to be proud again." Which probably explains why they cancelled Friday's fundraiser for [Senator] John Ensign.

Eejits

The Stoopid: They Write Letters

SLO Tribune, June 17

American history
Ijust got back from five weeks in Spain. My wife and I went to walk the Camino of St. James. Along the way, we met people from all over Europe, and during our conversations one person from Denmark remarked as to how thrilled she was that Obama was going to remake America into a Europeanstyle country.

During the days that followed, this statement bothered me. Then I realized that when Obama was in his youth, he went to a Muslim school in Indonesia and he must have missed the American history part of his education. The reason that there is an America was to escape the restraints of Europe.

The reason most of the governments of Europe changed was because of America — and that’s a change for the better. Our president seems very deficient when it comes to American history. He just has his teleprompter to tell him what to say.

I don’t want us to become like Europe. I feel that Obama is trying to get us to go that way. By the way, five weeks of no Obama in the news every day was wonderful. I see that the media’s love affair is still strong.

Terry S.
Oceano

[emphasis added.]

1980

Promise Keeper?

I realize that Democratic politicians are not immune to the "extra-marital affair" scandal, I just take particular glee in seeing sanctimonious, holier-than-thou, flag-wrapped Republicans go down. Meet John Ensign, Republican from Nevada...

Sen. John Ensign (R-NV), who had been considering a 2012 presidential campaign,
has now admitted to an extra-marital affair, and will hold a press conference
later today in Nevada to explain it further.

He's reportedly a long-time member of the Promise Keepers, too, so you just know he's a huge douchebag. Hah! More details: He was being blackmailed (by his lover's husband, no less!) so he had to 'fess up. AND: Ensign called for Toe-tappin' Larry Craig to resign after the GOP hypocrit's little episode in the airport bathroom.

How is it David Vitter still has a job?

They Just Can't Help It

The election of Barack Obama as President of the United States appears to have turned over a rock in the racist garden that is the Republican Party. All the ugliest creatures are on full display. I guess these people just can't help themselves, they way they're bursting with a newfound funny-bone and all. This one here's perhaps the most offensive yet...

BTW, that's a collection of portraits of all 44 US Presidents. It's hard to see but Obama's on the lower right hand corner (next to the monkey).

Catch-22

Digby explains the sad conundrum that stymies health care reform in America...

One of the sadly ironic things about health care reform is that because we have an employer based system, unless we reach a critical mass of people being out of work or worried about being out of work, there is usually not enough political energy for taking on the massive Medical Industrial Complex. But that happens at the exact moment when the government is losing tax revenues and the fiscal scolds can jump in on behalf of the plutocrats and aristocrats and demagogue deficits. It's a problem.

Gorillas in the Midst

The latest WTF? moment from the Republican Party. Rusty DePass twitters one of the more offensive racist jokes you'll ever hear about the first lady of the United States. Rusty DePass is a big-wig in the South Carolina Republican Party. Natch.

A Crisis in California

Leave it to Al Jazeera News to provide the best explanation I've seen yet of California's economic crisis...

New Twist on an Old Scam

It seems U.S. Customs wants to give me a whole lotta money...

We hereby bring to your notice that a consignment to be delivered at your residence by a diplomat had been stopped by us. This is a security measure put in place by United States of America to check terrorism and money laundry through the sale of illegal drugs locally and internationally.

After examination, we found out that the consignment contained the sum of US$3.7 Million, which upon further investigation revealed that the fund was your inheritance.

Consequently, the diplomat will deliver your consignment at your residence after all protocols have been observed.

However, in order to proceed we need you to reconfirm the following information,

Full Name:

Residential Address:
Date of Birth:
Occupation:
Telephone/Mobile Numbers:

We await your response.

Regards,

Jayson P.Ahern
Acting Commissioner, U.S. Customs and Border Protection.


NB,

DUE TO LONG QUEUES OF EMAILS IT IS ADVISED THAT YOU REPLY VIA MY PRIVATE EMAIL:jayson.p.ahern.cbp@aspensmail.com ,so you case file would be treated expeditiously.

Headline of the Day

Celebration of the Stoopid

Proving that even championship-rich LA is not immune to the stupidity of the celebratory riot...

What started as a celebration of the Lakers' NBA Championship turned ugly when some revelers in downtown Los Angeles sparked fires, vandalized cars and buildings, set off fireworks, looted stores and clashed with police.

At least 25 people were arrested, most at the Staples Center and a few others at a smaller gathering in the Crenshaw District, Los Angeles Police Department officials said.

Polltit on Tiller

"Trust women. That was the motto of Dr. George Tiller, abortion provider and hero. Dr. Tiller trusted women: to know their own life circumstances, to know themselves. Trusting women has an old-fashioned ring to it, doesn't it, like "sisterhood." How quaint, the notion that a woman, faced with a crisis pregnancy, can reach into herself and make the decision that's right for her--at any rate, a better decision than someone else would make for her, someone who doesn't know her, has never been in her predicament and doesn't have to live with the consequences."

You can honor the life of Dr. Tiller and make sure that low-income women receive safe abortion care by making a donation to the George Tiller Memorial Abortion Fund at the National Network of Abortion Funds. Contribute online at nnaf.org/tiller.html or mail a check to George Tiller Memorial Abortion Fund, c/o National Network of Abortion Funds, 42 Seaverns Avenue, Boston, MA 02130.

One Wish

Health Care Reform Primer

Valedictory

Just got back from a high school graduation ceremony. Fairly routine, but two mentions of note regarding the valedictorian. Frist of all, his voice was a clear cross between Marty McFly's dad and Michael Jackson, which was kinda weird, but worser still (so to speak) was the content of his speech.

After he was introduced, I leaned over to the little woman and said, "The valedictorian is always the smartest kid in the class." Not much to dispute there, but his entire address was a testimonial to the power of the Lord, complete with references to Jesus Christ and obtaining our ultimate reward in the hereafter.

Personally, I was appalled. It was shocking really, and deep within me I was feeling a strong urge to BOO. I managed to contain myself, but I was pleased to note as I looked around a few other shaking heads. Of course the kid got a rousing round of applause, but I wonder how the Jewish families in attendance felt.

Christ almighty, what the hell is wrong with people?

The Gray Lady

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Jason Jones to New York Times Editor as the two look over a copy of the NYT:

"Show me one thing in there that happened today."

Headline of the Day

Who knew?
Ohhhh....Chastity Bono? That's very different.

Mass Psychosis

Is it really possible that an entire political movement -- and by that I mean the Republican Conservative Party -- can go completely batshit crazy all at once?

Example 42b.

Headline of the Day

"Porn industry healthcare clinic not cooperating, public health officials say" -LAT 06.11.09

Really?

Greetings!

"I am Dr. Tiller"

The "I am Dr. Tiller" website is growing fast. Go there and read the inspirational stories of compassion, caring and professionalism in the face of profound and terrifying intimidation. These are brave people fighting for simple justice and reproductive freedom on the front lines of our nation's tragic and misguided "culture war."

People like Dr. Tiller in Washington, DC:

I spend many Saturdays outside the clinic, helping patients past the prayers and harassers who hurl judgments and wave propaganda. I’ve been hit with a notebook and had the police called on me as I acted as a buffer for a patient being followed to her car. After doing this for years, being on guard around these folks is second nature. Still, never before have I really worried about my safety; never before have I had to fear that things were this dangerous. I am always careful—I watch for new faces, individuals distanced from the normal set of ‘more sane’ harassers. But still, looking at each one of their faces, I have to ask, what do they think is an acceptable course of action?

And Dr. Tiller in the Midwest:

I never thought that I would work in a place where it would be “just part of my job” to deal with (i.e. ignore & not engage with) people who call me a baby-killer on my way into work. I never thought it would be part of my job to stand with our volunteers and wave women through the lines of protesters with posters of bloody fetuses, protesters calling us Nazis who would go to hell. I never thought that the early morning thoughts that drift through my mind on my way to work would daily include a hope that my office would be standing when I got there, wouldn’t be blown up while I was working.

And yet, here I am.

And Dr. Tiller in DC:

I escort at a clinic in Washington, DC. I am there to provide a peaceful, reassuring presence to the men and women who seek out services at the clinic. I am there to protect these people from the aggression and anger that are directed at them from anti-choice protesters that gather in front of our clinic. I am there to insist that peace, rather than violence, is the way in which we should conduct our daily lives. I will be there, sometimes twice a week, to remind the antis that someone will always stand up to them, that someone will always stand up for our patients, for women, and for abortion rights.

And Dr. Tiller in New England:

I started advocating for reproductive justice as a young teenager. It came soon after my mother telling me about her abortion and thinking how fortunate she was to be able to make that choice. I volunteered in a local clinic’s education department until my junior year of high school. Now an adult, I have continued to fight for reproductive justice and am honored to be a volunteer for an abortion fund. Every week volunteers take calls from women all over New England who need help paying for their abortion. I am in awe of the volunteers I work alongside and their compassion and drive for this work.

Are you Dr. Tiller?

Rock On

L to the E: 01.27.04

I was all set to begin my posting of random letters to the editor that yours truly has written over the years and lo and behold, the first one I pull out of the pile is....a rebuttal! Dennis Fenton, of Arroyo Grande, California, took issue with my characterization of [then] p(R)esident George W. Bush's delivery of his State of the Union speech as "awkward" (and that was being generous), and he let me know it in no uncertain terms:

[click on image for larger view]
Nice blast, D! Too bad he was wrong on nearly every point. I particularly love his gloating over Republican dominance of the political landscape. Would that be the "permanent Republican majority" we've heard so much about? Additionally, the word is drivel you dumbass, not dribble.

How's things workin' out for ya now, Dennis?

DHS Called Its Shot

We're Not Gonna Take It

Where's Bill Ayres when we need him? Whither the Weather Underground? Black panthers? A nation turns its lonely angry eyes to you. If this is the way they wanna play it, if this is the way it's gonna be...well, I'm thinkin' it's about time to start blowin' some shit up.

Corollary to a Truism

Elections have [unintended] consequences.

Little Man with a Gun in His Hand

Shooting at Holocaust Museum?!? WTF?

Why is it that tree-hugging, pro-choice, gay rights-advocating, help-those-less-fortunate, love one another, Atheist, dirty fucking hippies don't feel the need to start shooting people whenever they don't get their way?

Another Day, Another Right-Wing Psycho

Last week some Christianist anti-abortion zealot decided to assassinate a medical doctor in Kansas, this week's right-wing extremist nutjob settled on shooting up the Holocaust Museum in Washington DC.

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- A lone gunman wounded a security guard at the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum on Wednesday before being injured by return fire, according to police and a museum statement.

The suspect was identified as James von Brunn, an 88-year-old white supremacist from Maryland, two law enforcement officials told CNN.

Gunfire at the entrance of the museum wounded at least two people Wednesday, emergency officials said.

A private security guard and the shooting suspect were wounded, according to officials of the Washington police.

Remind me again why it is that al-Qaeda is considered the biggest menace to society?

The Truth Will Out

I don't think the phrase "alternate reality" means what Charles Krauthammer thinks it means...

"What Fox did is not just create a venue for alternative opinion. It created an alternate reality."

And the Terrorists Win

We're losing the war on terror right here at home. A sad day for freedom lovers everywhere. A worse day for women in need of competent and compassionate health care...

The family of Dr. George Tiller announces that effective immediately, Women's Health Care Services, Inc., will be permanently closed. Notice is being given today to all concerned that the Tiller family is ceasing operation of the clinic and any involvement by family members in any other similar clinic.

We are proud of the service and courage shown by our husband and father and know that women's health care needs have been met because of his dedication and service. That is a legacy that will never die. The family will honor Dr. Tiller's memory through private charitable activities. The Tiller family wishes to assure Dr. Tiller's past patients that the privacy of their medical histories and patient records will remain as fiercely protected now and in the future as they were during Dr. Tiller's lifetime.

There will be no more statements or comments on behalf of the family on this matter.

But the war is not ended.

Bubble Goes Bust: Serious Decline

We're not out of the woods yet...not by a long-shot.

In parts of Southern California, the housing crash has upended a basic tenet of the American dream: that home values always increase over the long term.

Properties in several areas are selling for less than they did 20 years ago, and that's not even counting the effects of inflation.

I Am Right.

I've been going through a bunch of my old Letters to the Editor that I've saved over the years. If I do say so myself, I'm pretty much spot on most of the time. I'll be posting some of the highlights over the coming days and weeks. Somebody ought to give me a column. I need only 250 words to get my point across.

The Line: EWF

Commencement for the Stoopid

No Circumstance, just Pomp.

Journa-minimalism

A reporter on CBS Radio News just told me that a Memorial Day charging snafu at Starbucks outlets around the nation means my $4 cup of coffee may have "costed" me $8. Costed?!? What institution of higher learning do you suppose that fella -- and his copy editor, now that I think about it -- went to?

Costed.

The guy should be accosted, that's what I'm talkin' about.

Ticking Time Bomb?

Isn't this just the sort of imminent threat the torture apologists have been citing as justification for their "enhanced interrogation techniques"?

WICHITA, Kan. – The man charged with murdering a high-profile abortion doctor claimed from his jail cell Sunday that similar violence was planned around the nation for as long as the procedure remained legal, a threat that comes days after a federal investigation launched into his possible accomplices.

Seems to me sombebody ought to be waterboarding Scott Roeder so we can find out a bit more about this "planned violence." Dday elaborates on much the same point at Hullabaloo.

Foggy Dew

President Obama's Cairo Speech

What Socialism Looks Like

Not what you may have been led to believe.

Refreshing: No God

Pitcher Randy Johnson became just the 24th pitcher in the history of Major League baseball to win his 300th game today, and during a 5 minute interview after the game he didn't thank God once. Thank God for that.

He Put the 'A' in "Moron"

Sean Hannity also puts the double-oh in stoopid...

World's biggest Hannity fan.

The Mayor of Philadelphia is a Nutter

Can't condemn vigilante justice in the City of Brotherly Love.

Tiananmen Square, June 4, 1989

The greatest FU in human history?

Tiananmen Square, June 4, 1989

The Daily Show on the GM Bankruptcy

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And another thing....

DAMMIT!

What to Do

If you're as pissed as I am about the outrageous assassination of Dr. George Tiller, here's one thing you can do: Go to Planned Parenthood and donate some money. They do good work, and they can use your help.

Sports on TV

Right now...
ESPN: Poker
ESPN 2: Girl's Softball
Versus: NHL Stanley Cup Finals.

Comment: WTF is Versus?

Quote of the Day: @ 1:40 of This Clip

Q: "What two presidents often skinny-dipped?"

A: "John Quincy Adams and Lyndon Johnson. Now let's talk about Interstate 80."

Consolidated -- Butyric Acid

i want to talk about media distortion
ad campaign telling lies about abortion
standing there call yourself a good christian
break your fucking sign because you’re causing me friction

ignorant group operation rescue
if you treat women then they might even kill you
randall terry calls them soldiers of god now
if you ask me i’d say they’re smoking much prod now

a little advice for the medical students
(they’re) teaching cowardice not medical prudence
lobbying pressure from the a.m.a. cracker
don’t treat women and you call yourself a doctor

standing in line fucking slime with no sense
two can play at that start clinic defense
yelling over me showing patients no respect now
break for the lane get a 'bow in your neck now

if you don’t want a nazi in your house don’t let one
don’t know a fundamentalist ’til you’ve met one
if you’ve memorized your civil rights don’t forget one
if you don’t want an abortion don’t get one

marching with your cross and your dead fetus picture
don’t let me see you or i’ll jam it up your sphincter
you’re lucky that i find violence so heinous
but my wife and her friends’ll put a foot in your anus

confused sad women kill apologizing
sad fucking bible you still memorizing
had to make a choice between god and her sister
you imitate your oppressor so you dissed her

even though you told me you had the procedure
just ’cause you’re rich and you’re white father freed you
from the consequence of a child out of wedlock
from the family shame at the congregation potluck

crazy pregnant woman citing her religion
the baby’s going to die without cesarian section
i won’t support scientific intervention
give her the freedom to deal with her actions

if you don’t want a nazi in your house don’t let one
don’t know a fundamentalist ’til you’ve met one
if you’ve memorized your civil rights don’t forget one
if you don’t want an abortion don’t get one

ru486? yes i am sir
ru486? yes i am sir
ru486? yes i am sir

anything to empower women that’s for damn sure
know what it means when they’re bombing all the clinics
who’s going to say get off the fence to the cynics
harassing g.y.n. with a death threat

say that you’re doing god’s work well yeah I bet
respect women and give her some room
believe in her rights stay out of her womb
if you want to see women stop termination
give her a future and a real education

do you think women want to kill their own babies?
do you think women want to kill their own babies?
do you think women want to kill their own babies?
if got your own twisted baggage then maybe

if you don’t want a nazi in your house don’t let one
don’t know a fundamentalist ’til you’ve met one
if you’ve memorized your civil rights don’t forget one
if you don’t want an abortion don’t get one

Did You Know...?

Current U.S. law allows individuals not to have an abortion if for any reason they don't want to have one.

Just wanted to clear that up.

Message to All Terrorists and Murderers

Dr. LeRoy Carhart has a message for all you murdering anti-choice terrorists out there:

Carhart, a Nebraska physician who has been working at George Tiller's Wichita clinic for ten years, says the clinic will resume operations Monday on a permanent basis. "What people need to know is... the women's services that we provided for 30 years are not going to change. The same abortion services will remain available in Wichita."

Shorter Carhart: "Bring it on. We are not afraid."

Death Penalty vs. Abortion

With regard to the death penalty vs. abortion argument, a false choice line of hypocrisy the religious right likes to foist on progressive pro-choicers (and, to be fair, vice versa), it's a statistical certainty that George W. Bush killed more people as governor of Texas (152) than Dr. George Tiller ever did by performing third trimester abortions.

What It's Really All About

RH Reality Check: Late Term Abortions from RH Reality Check on Vimeo.

Reprehensible

Class-A hypocrite, convicted woman-hater and professional charlatan and trouble-maker Randall Terry held a press conference today in Washington to air his views on the assassination of Dr. George Tiller. After going on about how Tiller was a "mass murderer" who "reaped what he sowed," Terry closed his comments by saying:

"...I truly am sorry that we had to meet under these circumstances. I like Guinness for those of you who want to have a beer somewhere. I prefer my chicken wings really hot and a little crispy."

I kid you not. Watch the video if you don't believe me. What a deep, dark, black hole there must be where this asshole's soul once lived. Perhaps his soul is an asshole (that would explain a lot).

And I'm sure the Guinness people are less than thrilled they've now been associated with a man who sees nothing wrong with assassinating medical professionals.

Harsh Reality?

Don't you get the feeling that we are a civilization in decline?

California, Unter Alles

Conservative anti-tax zealot Grover Norquist once famously said the goal of his movement was “to shrink government down to a size small enough that we can drown it in a bathtub.” And so welcome to the dysfunctional state of California, where we are about to achieve that goal.

Pity the social safety net, certain to be left in tatters at the bottom of the basin, but perhaps the suffering and neglect of millions of needy Californians is what’s ultimately necessary. Maybe then the populace will recognize that it’s long past time to reform our state’s disastrously absurd financial framework. It's long past time for someone in Sacramento to lead California into the 21st century.

American Muscle

"Turn it on, wind it up and blow it out."

Pondering the Unthinkable

Automotive writer Dan Neil of the LA Times asks a question...

If mighty GM can fail, cannot also the United States? And the answer is, absolutely.