The Got Game

Not to diminish the daunting work ahead for the president, nor to overstate their athletic achievements, but when I was watching the State of the Union Address on Tuesday, I was struck by the fact that whatever "it" is that Barack Obama has, Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan also seem to have the same "it," a quite yet unshakable confidence that the endeavor, being golf or basketball or presidentin', will invariably end positively.

Barack, Tiger, Michael. They got game.

A Bank that Makes Change You Can Believe In

Yin and Yang of Economic Collapse

Which came first: unemployment or foreclosure...?

King James

Better lucky than good...?

Everything is Amazing Right Now...and Nobody's Happy

Parrotheads

Have you ever noticed how, the minute you call BS on some mindless "dittohead" for parroting the insane ravings of drug-addled gasbag Rush Limbaugh, they invariably say, "I don't listen to Rush Limbaugh."

Have you ever noticed how "dittohead" is a [semi]-perfect anagram for "idiothead?"

Yeah. Me, too.

Waitin' Around to Die

Religious nuts the world over would probably prefer it if at least one more person would die from the salmonella outbreak rather than have the number of the beast staring out at them from Yahoo news...

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – An outbreak of salmonella food poisoning traced to peanut products has sickened 666 people and is continuing despite one of the biggest food recalls in U.S. history, health officials said on Tuesday.

Still Got a Long Way to Go Dept.

The mayor of Los Alamitos, California thought it would be knee-slappin' high-larious to send out the above super-funny picture (along with the caption "No Easter egg hunt this year") to some of his colleagues in the Orange County political scene. African-American businesswoman Keyanus Price was not amused, but when she blew the whistle on closet-racist a-hole Mayor Dean Grose, he trotted out the usual racist "who me?" bullshit, claiming he was "unaware of the racial stereotype that black people like watermelons."

Sure thing, Jackass. Now go back to Alabama where you came from. What was it Eric Holder said about "a nation of coawrds?"

[via Wonkette]

The Train Has Left the Station

What the heck is wrong with a train from Disneyland to Las Vegas, anyway? [Well, besides the fact that the claim Barack Obama wants to build one isn't true.]

A widely repeated claim that $8 billion is set aside for a "levitating train" to Disneyland is untrue. That total is for unspecified high-speed rail projects, and some of it may or may not end up going to a proposed 300-mph "maglev" train connecting Anaheim, Calif., with Las Vegas.

There's [also] no money in the bill specified for butterfly parks, Frisbee golf courses or water slides, despite a GOP congressman's claim that the bill "will fund" those projects.

Delusions of ACORN

On my way home after watching President Obama's speech last night, I spun the radio dial and landed on KKOH 780-AM out of Reno, Nevada. The host, Bill Mandel, is a typical right wing tool, who just babbles on and on spouting one caustic lie after another.

One of his lunatic callers offered the opinion that he was disappointed the Republicans in the chamber applauded the President too much, noting that he could see on television that many times people on both sides of the aisle stood and cheered. Madel went so far as to claim that the Democrats had "packed the building" so full that Hillary Clinton had to sit on "the Republican side." Mandel even floated the rumor that ACORN was behind the plot to fill the House chamber and edge out Republicans. Hah! ACORN??? WTF?!? As if just anybody can just walk in and sit in the well of the House of Representatives? Teh stoopid, it burns.

The truth of the matter is this: Democrats so outnumber Republicans [House 257-178/Senate 58-41 (plus Al Franken)] that the spillover was a simple reflection of their overwhelming majorities.

"Oh my God!"

When Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal stepped awkwardly out from behind the curtain and approached the microphone to deliver his anemic Republican response, my viewing partner and I were watching MSNBC. We both clearly heard someone say:

"Oh my God."

It comes at the 18-second mark of this short clip (and I'd swear it's Chris Matthews):

UPDATE: On closer scrutiny, I believe the mortified viewer actually says simply:

"Oh God."

The Man Moves People

Initial post-speech polls indicate that President Obama's address had a powerful effect on people...

CBS News is first out the gate with a survey testing the reactions to the Sort-of-State-of-the-Union speech, with a Web-based poll by Knowledge Networks showing respondents' views of Obama before and after the speech.

The first number out so far: 62% of speech-watchers before the speech approved of President Obama's plans for dealing with the economy. Afterwards, the number increased to 79%.

But this one is the biggie: Before the speech, only 35% thought Obama's economic plans would personally help them. After the speech, that number jumped up to 52%.

Yes We Can Will

"The weight of this crisis will not determine the destiny of this nation. The answers to our problems don't lie beyond our reach. They exist in our laboratories and universities; in our fields and our factories; in the imaginations of our entrepreneurs and the pride of the hardest-working people on Earth. Those qualities that have made America the greatest force of progress and prosperity in human history we still possess in ample measure. What is required now is for this country to pull together, confront boldly the challenges we face, and take responsibility for our future once more."

Now, don't that feel a whole lot better?

I thought President Obama did a masterful job in tonight's address of balancing the dire situation we face with an inspirational, can-do attitude. In many ways, his remarks reminded me of a coach (whose team is down 20 points at halftime) exhorting his players that if they work hard and work together, they're going to win the damn game!

Here's the text of the speech.

Runnin' with the Devil Davel

Sing along with Diamond Dave!

Click this link for some serious hilarity.

[source material]:

Sound and Fury, Signifying Nothing

O'DONNELL: John, you were just here squirming in your chair as the President was speaking. What's the big deal?

JOHN FEEHERY: Well, he passed the biggest, pork-filled stimulus, whatever you want to call it, bill in history and now you're talking about fiscal responsibility [blah, blah, blah] but they go first with this huge pork bill...

O'DONNELL: Name one piece of pork.

JOHN FEEHERY: Ummm, ummm, babble, you can't do that to me right now. I can't think of it right now. But it was filled, huge, bunch of stuff that we don't even know what's in there."

Embarrasing.

Friend Me!

George W. Bush has joined Facebook....

Tellin' It

Mickey Rourke accepts his Best Actor trophy at the Spirit Awards and delivers the Best Acceptance Speech ever...

Blow the Whistle

Twitter is for twits.

Movie Metaphor

As the US economy plunges ever deeper into a bottomless financial maelstrom, I picture George W. Bush at home in Connecticut Maine Massachusetts Texas, blissfully unaware (or unmindful, at any rate) of the serious damage he's done to the country and its citizens. Then I remember that he probably is aware, because there was always a malevolent evil lurking behind that smirk...

I believe this movie clip sums up the Bush administration and its "achievements" quite nicely. James Dean stars as George W. Bush, his car is the US economy, and actor Corey Allen (as "Buzz Gunderson") stands in for the American taxpayer...

What Atrios Sez

"...one day I hope this country grows up and recognizes that the fear that maybe someone is getting something I'm not and they don't deserve shouldn't be the primary philosophy of governance."

Losers

I guess one of the things we forgot to consider when we gave all these loser corporations all that free money was....that they would keep losing money!

Lance Armstrong's Bike

I'm really glad Lance Armstrong got his bike back, but if that damn kid keeps leaving the thing lying around without locking it up, well...what does he expect will happen to it?

Clifford

I'm guessing somebody put a mic on my pal Cliff to get the audio for this E*trade commercial.

The smack talk is straight out of the Hornsby playbook.

Evil Plan is Working

Two more letters in the Tribune today claiming that the New Deal didn't work, versus one saying it did. I realize it's only the Letters to the Editor page, but isn't there still some requirement that facts and truth be disseminated there?!?

The Most Beautiful Girl in the Room

"They're living in the tropics..."

Tell me Rumsfeld, Bush and Cheney couldn't be Nazis with the bullshit they peddled in this clip.

How My State Senator Saved California

By holding the entire state and its 35 million residents hostage, that's how....

Sen. Abel Maldonado crouched to desk level and, with a mischievous smile, enlisted the help of sixth-grader Michelle Grahame to sweat the governor over the state’s looming budget cuts.

The 12-year-old was immersed in her computer animation project, an Earth-like blue sphere hovering behind a curiously grown-up message: “Please don’t cut Education.”

Maldonado, on a tour of Ralph Dunlap Elementary, persuaded her to tweak it to read: “Please don’t cut Education Arnold.” He left with a printout he promised to deliver to Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who is hashing over ways to close the state’s estimated $2-billion budget gap.

He's got the whole world/in his hand/he's got the whole world/in his hand...

...I am beginning to wonder if, in our troubled times, being in a Senate — any Senate — actually is hell. Everybody has seen pictures of the state senators in California, held hostage to a spectacular financial fiasco, sleeping at their desks during the long, long hours of deliberations, which revolve around whether Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger can get a wealthy Republican broccoli farmer to vote for his budget.

Monkeyshine

What I didn't know about the controversy surrounding the New York Post cartoon was that besides the drawing itself, along with its message "They'll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill," there was a photograph of President Obama signing the stimulus bill on the preceding page in the paper.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Whut Up, My Prezident?

Fo shizzle...

[N.B.: not from The Onion]

Oxymoron

Conservative think-tank.

Smackdown

Apparently, the latest desperate move by Republicans is to try to weaken support for President Obama's stimulus plan by claiming that the success of the New Deal is a bogus distortion of history. Letters have started showing up in the Tribune making that case, but they are clearly cut-and-paste jobs from the Heritage Foundation or some other equally lame conservative source.

It became time for the Hornet to fire off another screed to the local fishwrap...

Much like the deceptive arguments in favor of “intelligent design” and against the realities of global warming, it appears that conservatives are now bound and determined to convince the less-well-informed among us that FDR’s New Deal was a failed policy that -- rather than saving the nation from financial catastrophe -- only made the Great Depression worse. This is willfully ignorant, revisionist history at its worst. To quote historian Matthew Dallek, “…to argue that [the New Deal] harmed the American people…is to twist the historical evidence beyond all reasonable recognition. Such arguments…are misleading, polemical and riddled with distortions of the overwhelming facts at hand about the New Deal’s achievements.”

I suppose, given President Obama’s tremendous popularity, and peoples’ thirst for enlightened leadership and bold action in the face of our nation’s financial ruin, Republicans are reduced to rewriting the historical record in order to advance their backward schemes.

I have a message for those who are bent on distorting settled history and scientific truth: America has turned the page on your lies and fear-mongering. Your worldview has been discredited and repudiated. This nation is grappling with massive problems that require the attention of serious people offering real solutions. I’m not usually one for bumper sticker slogans, but at this critical juncture in our nation’s history, with Republicans at every level of government apparently capable only of saying “No,” let’s try this one on for size: “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.”

Jim Mallon
SLO, CA

Inside the Meltdown

Better Stick with Hank Williams Jr.

Looks like yet another famous music act has told the Republicans to quit using their music. This time it's Aerosmith, whose ode-to-a-prostitute homage Back in the Saddle became the background music for Eric Cantor's self-congratulatory ad on the GOP's intransigence in the face of the national economic crisis.

Aside from the questionable lyrical content of the song -- after all, Cantor is an insufferable "family values conservative" -- there's this:

But unfortunately, Aerosmith wasn't feeling the love. Cantor's clip has been pulled from YouTube after a copyright infringement claim made by Stage Three Music, which owns the rights to "Back in the Saddle."

The GOP's use of the tune "was something we, as the publishers, didn't approve and would not have approved without going to the writers," Connie Ashton, director of copyright and licensing at Stage Three, told me. "Aerosmith did not approve of its use and also wanted to have it taken down," she added.

Train Wreck

The Republican Party in California is committing political suicide, unfortunately, GOP lawmakers are intent on taking the whole damn state down with them...

Sacramento -- As California's government continued its grinding downshift toward insolvency, efforts to close the state's nearly $42-billion budget gap hit a new snag late Tuesday as Republicans in the state Senate ousted their leader.

Around 11 p.m., a group of GOP senators, unhappy with the higher taxes that Senate leader Dave Cogdill of Modesto agreed to as part of a deal with the governor and Democrats, voted to replace him in a private caucus meeting in Cogdill's office.

The Republicans have nothing to contribute by way of policy initiatives, so for that they will hold 35 million people hostage. I can't help but hope this fiasco plunges them ever further into the minority. If the Democrats can gain those three additional seats in the state Senate, the GOP in Cali will have been rendered totally and completely irrelevant.

That's the end result of political suicide.

Rock On....

Baseball in the Steroid Era

The Last Man Standing.

Junior.

Just Sayin'

If I were flying somewhere on a commerical airliner, and I had my druthers, I think I'd just prefer it if my plane was not called a "Bombardier."

Bimbo Bread

Snapped this photo with my camera phone on the 101 by the Madonna Inn. Never seen nor heard of the Bimbo Bread company, but there sure as hell was a Bimbo Bread truck rolling down the 101 the other day.

Checking in with the Wingnuts

Our man President Obama sure has the wingnuts tearing their hair out. Check this post over at my favorite appraisers forum website:

Obama is not only a cocky son of a bitch, he's incompetent and in over his head. It's amazing that the media portrays him as a youthful president, hell, the fucker is 47 years old and has never held a real job. It is a travesty that this con artist is in the oval office. He is not my president.

Ridiculous Pet Dept.

I was over at Cal Poly this afternoon with a friend who was getting her taxes done by the school's business students, and there was a guy in there waiting, like us, to sit down with some unsuspecting undergrad tax preparer, but he had his pet snake with him, all coiled around his arm looking serpentine and scaring the little kids in the waiting room. I mean, come on dude...How stoopid is that? Snakes are not good pets to take on business meetings, although I suppose you can be pretty sure they won't crap on your shoulder like a pet bird.

Chunky Monkey in Chief

Ben and Jerry's ice cream recently unveiled a new flavor -- "Yes Pecan" -- in honor of our new president, Barack Obama.
Along those lines, B&J also asked customers to offer suggestion for an ice cream to "honor" out-going president George W. Bush. Among the submissions:

- Grape Depression

- The Housing Crunch

- Abu Grape

- Cluster Fudge

- Nut'n Accomplished

- Good Riddance You Lousy Motherfu***r... Swirl

- Iraqi Road

- Chock 'n Awe

- WireTapioca

- Impeach Cobbler

- Guantanmallow

- imPeachmint

- Heck of a Job, Brownie!

- Neocon Politan

- RockyRoad to Fascism

- The Reese's-cession

- Cookie D'oh!

- Nougalar Proliferation

- Death by Chocolate... and Torture

- Freedom Vanilla Ice Cream

- Chocolate Chip On My Shoulder

- Credit Crunch

- Mission Pecanplished

- Country Pumpkin

- Chunky Monkey in Chief

- WMDelicious

- Chocolate Chimp

- Bloody Sundae

- Caramel Preemptive Stripe

- I broke the law and am responsible for the deaths of thousands . . . with nuts

My faves in bold.

Dumbing Down America

I think somebody over at Newsweek magazine forgot to read the mission statement...

A new graphic feature on the last page, “The Bluffer’s Guide,” will tell readers how to sound as if they are knowledgeable on a current topic, whether they are or not.

And people wonder why Americans are a bunch of ill-informed dumbshits.

So It Goes...

Baghdad -- A female suicide bomber who entered a crowd of Shiite Muslim pilgrims bound for the holy city of Karbala left 30 dead and 75 wounded Friday afternoon, according to Iraqi police.

Political Advice

Sounds like a good idea to me...

Wingnut Zeigeist

If you've ever wondered what sort of impact the O'Reillys, Hannitys and Limbaughs of the world were having on their unhinged wingnut followers, all you have to do is read this manifesto written by whack-job murderer Jim Adkission.

I wonder how Bernard Goldberg feels about his book being used as a hit list?

This was a symbolic killing. Who I wanted to kill was every Democrat in the Senate & House, the 100 people in Bernard Goldberg's book. I'd like to kill everyone in the mainstream media. But I know those people were inaccessible to me. I couldn't get to the generals & high ranking officers of the Marxist movement so I went after the foot soldiers, the chickenshit liberals that vote in these traitorous people. Someone had to get the ball rolling. I volunteered. I hope others do the same. It's the only way we can rid America of this cancerous pestilence.

Word.

Probably Just as Well He Quit

...because Judd Gregg, President Obama's erstwhile nominee to lead the Commerce Department, vote in 1995 to abolish...wait for it...the Commerce Department!

Idle Thought

There are plenty of holidays celebrating the achievements of particularly worthy individuals, George Washington, Martin Luther King, Christopher Columbus and Cesar Chavez among them. But there are only two people in human history for whom we get their actual birthday off, regardless of when it falls during the week.

They would be Abraham Lincoln and Jeezuz.

The Amazing Story of Flight 1549

The feel-good story of the year EVAH....!!

Watch CBS Videos Online


Watch CBS Videos Online


Watch CBS Videos Online

Gregg Presser

In his press conference just now, Judd Gregg admits he's not a team player. On Obama's team, at least. What a collosal waste of time. He shouldn't get his Senate seat back, but it looks like he will.

NO is not an Option

Gregg Withdraws Nomination

Republican Senator Judd Gregg has withdrawn his nomination as Barack Obama's Commerce Secretary. He cites "irresolvable conflicts" with the president's economic priorities. The talking heads are telling me this is a serious blow to Obama's ability to move forward on his other legislative priorities. Poppycock.

It takes but a simple majority in the House to pass any bill. There is no filibuster in the House. It takes a simple majority in the Senate, and then the minority has the right to delay passage by means of a filibuster. It does take 60 votes to break a filibuster -- the Democrats presently hold 59 seats -- but the politics going forward call for the Dems to adopt a "you're either with us or against us" position.

Screw bipartisanship. Fuck the Republicans.

Make. Them. Filibuster.

Revisionist History

Republican Congressman Steve King of Iowa is on C-SPAN right now, in the well of the House of Representatives, arguing that FDR and the New Deal did not pull the United States out of the Great Depression. I thought that issue had pretty much been settled.

How do these people idiots keep getting elected?

Not Encouraging

When I heard the TV ratings for Barack Obama's press conference were higher than those of American Idol, I was mildly encouraged that perhaps the People were beginning to pay attention to more important things.

Baby steps, America. Baby steps.

UPDATE: Additional research into the human mind.

Frivilous Lawsuit?

This makes no sense to me at all. If you're from the LA area, you know that the sportswriters in the area, from the legendary Jim Murray to the caustic TJ Simers, have been lighting up Elgin Baylor for decades for his inexplicable loyalty to that boob Donald Sterling. Now we're supposed to believe racism was the problem?!? Who knew?

And we thought Elgin, one of the greatest players in LA Lakers' history, was just Donald Sterling's useful idiot.

Did You Know?

Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin were born on the exact same day?

Two pretty influential dudes.

February 12, 1809.

Worst Best Mullet Ever

San Luis Obispo, CA. More on the bare shelves in the market later.

Soft on Terror

This is all Barack Obama's fault...

KABUL -- Gunmen and suicide bombers staged synchronized attacks on two government buildings in the heart of the capital today, leaving at least 19 people dead and scores of others injured, Afghan officials said.

The Taliban movement claimed responsibility for the assaults on the Justice Ministry and another office close to the presidential palace. The attacks came on the eve of the scheduled arrival of Richard Holbrooke, the Obama administration's new envoy to the region.

24 Hours in 100 Seconds

"I want to thank you Mr. President.
This hasn't happened in 8 years."

"Diaper Boy" Vitter to Face Primary Challenge?

Apparently this started out as a joke....

Several months ago, some wag from Louisiana placed an advertisement on Craigslist searching for an experienced professional in the adult entertainment industry to challenge embattled Louisiana Republican Sen. David Vitter.

Vitter's once rock-solid conservative credentials took a nasty beating when it was revealed that the Senator, who campaigned on a traditional Republican family-values platform all the way to the U.S. Senate, had a rather unfortunate predilection for both prostitutes and diapers.

Meet Stormy Daniels:

Clearly she's a helluva a lot smarter than David Vitter.

Stupid Piece of Sh#t That Doesn't F*cking Work

Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work
[h/t Atrios; too funny to pass up. Much adult language.]

More from Obama's Press Conference

Here's a bit longer clip from yesterday's press conference...

[h/t Talking Points Memo]

Bald on Top?

Then shoulder-length hair drawn back in a pony-tail is not a good look for you.

P'wnd Again

When I see senators go on the talk shows and argue that they need 60 votes to pass any legislation, I think back to my old civics classes as Santa Clara High School in Oxnard, California. If memory serves me -- and I think it does -- it actually takes only a simple majority to pass a bill in the Senate. If those in the minority choose to do so, they can filibuster a vote, and at that point it takes 60 votes to break the filibuster.

The measure is likely to pass in the Senate with 60-plus votes today, but the point here is that the Democrats could have very easily passed the original, uncompromised stimulus package with 57 or 58 votes, and if the Republicans didn't like it they should have been forced to filibuster. They should be made to stand up for hours on end and explain to the public why they were handcuffing the nation's recovery from its economic doldrums.

After all, when the Republicans were in charge they had no qualms about rolling the Democrats on a daily basis.

With Friends Like These

Here's a classic example of a Democrat undercutting her own president's political priorities, and in the process betraying her party's [alleged] political philosophy...

Now we know that Claire McCaskill thinks the following education programs are "silly stuff":

• $100 million for distance learning
• $1 billion for Head Start/Early Start
• $5.8 billion for Health Prevention Activity
• $600 million for Title I (No Child Left Behind)
• $16 billion for school construction
• $3.5 billion for higher education construction

No Comparison

Chris Matthews just opined that the answers Obama gave in tonight's press conference were similar to the "multi-part answers" you used to hear on the $64,000 Question, while the answers at his predecessor's press conferences were more like those you'd hear on Jeopardy. As a big Jeopardy fan, I take offense to that comparison. I'd say the answers at George W. Bush's press conferences were more like those you hear from the dumbasses on Wheel of Fortune.

Yes We Can

How refreshing is it to have a president who can stand up in front of the People and speak in complete, coherent sentences? Who really knows if this economic stimulus plan is going to work, or if it does how long it will take. The problems facing the nation are deep and painful and the road ahead remains uncertain, but I, for one, am reassured to have a leader with the intelligence, dignity and certitude of Barack Obama at the helm...

Transcript here..."It is absolutely true that we can’t depend on government alone to create jobs or economic growth. That is and must be the role of the private sector. But at this particular moment, with the private sector so weakened by this recession, the federal government is the only entity left with the resources to jolt our economy back into life.

"It is only government that can break the vicious cycle, where lost jobs lead to people spending less money, which leads to even more layoffs. And breaking that cycle is exactly what the plan that’s moving through Congress is designed to do."

Excerpt video clip...

Octuplets' Mom Trying to Recreate Old Testament

Now that the "octuplet mom" has revealed the names of her litter brood, it's apparent that Nadya Solomon's ultimate motivation was to have a child for every character in the Old Testament. Somebody better keep her away from the sperm bank, because after birthing Noah, Jonah, Jeremiah, Josiah, Isaiah, Maliyah, Makai and Nariyah, not to mention older siblings Elijah, Amerah, Joshua Jacob, Aidan, Calyssa and Caleb, this woman is clearly on a mission from God. At the rate she's going, Ruth, Samuel, Joel, Obadiah and Lamentations can't be far behind. It's also a nice touch that each of the octuplets has the middle name of Angel...and that's a sure sign that there was no chance of "selective reduction" in this pregnancy.

It may not have been God's will for Solomon to conceive her children naturally, but I guess the way she sees it it was surely God's will that she have 14 test-tube babies.

So Much for that Global Warming Nonsense

Here's a photo taken by one of my co-workers in Atascadero, CA (about 7 miles north of my location) at about 10am PST today...

There was also a solid blanket of snow on the foothills above SLO (elevation 2400ft).

Reassurance

Visit isgeorgebushpresident.com

Ouch.

[click image for larger view]

"I'm mad as hell..."

You know what? I'm mad as hell too, and I don't want to take it any longer. As I look at the Sunday lineup, I realize that we will be subjected to a bunch of self-congratulatory crap from senators on both the right and left, praising themselves for a job well done on the stimulus bill. Well, congratulations, you bubble-headed buffoons, you just cut approximately 1.25 million jobs--desperately needed jobs--from the stimulus bill. Krugman's numbers are a little different, but no less disheartening. It's enough to make me wish someone like Krugman would go all Christian Bale on these right wingers in the media and remind them they're f&@#ing around with real lives. And it's certainly not better when those the President entrusted are aiding the Senators with their ridiculous slicing and dicing. I don't know how these people can sleep at night.

[from Crooks and Liars]

Pulling Back the Unemployment Curtain

You've probably heard the latest unemployment numbers, which are the highest the nation has seen in years at 7.6% of the workforce. But what you're probably not aware of is that, much like all the other stuff the oligarchy tells us, the books are cooked.

But the official rate, which the BLS calls U3, has been rejiggered over the years to exclude certain categories of jobless and part-time workers. It fails to provide an accurate measure of the real damage. A better measure is U6, a figure always reported by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, but rarely reported by the traditional media because it would require 20 seconds of scrolling and an extra paragraph of explanation. U6 today was set at 13.9%.

That's right, the unemployment rate you hear on the evening news fails to include involuntarily part-time workers, people whose unemployment benefit period (26 weeks) has expired or those who have simply given up the search entirely.

That's how 7.6% becomes 13.9%.

WWNS (What Would Nietzsche Say?)

You will not find a better example of the absurdity, the ridiculousness, the tragedy of blind religious fundamentalism than this clip of Kurt Warner. He's worried that many of his friends and family -- even those who are religious and do live good lives -- are going to be banished to hell when their time comes.


What he's preaching, without actually saying it, is that tired old dogmatic maxim that there's only one way into heaven, and that's to "accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior." Anything less means eternal damnation.

I remember once having a discussion with a friend of mine -- who told me several times that he prayed for my soul until I asked him to stop -- about this whole "Jeezuz is the only way" thing.

"What about Ghandi?" I asked. "He lived in the 20th century, most certainly heard of Jeezuz (and probably studied his teachings), but remained a Hindu throughout his life."

"Going to hell," came the reply. "He had the opportunity to accept Jeezuz and rejected him."

"Okay," I said, "Now let's talk about another fella: Charles Manson. Heinous, psycho murderer; belongs in the lowest circle of Hell. If he has a deathbed conversion and accepts Jeezuz as his 'Lord and Savior,' will he get his ticket punched into heaven.

"Yes."

"So, you're telling me that Ghandi is in hell right now and for all eternity, while Charles Manson still has a shot at salvation?"

"Yes."

Ahem...who wants to be a part of a religion like that? It's as insane, if not moreso, as anything the Taliban have ever preached. They're kooks, every damn one of them, Christianists, Islamists and Zionists alike, and I just wished they'd leave the rest of us alone to live our lives of quiet desperation in peace.

Bong Hits for Jesus

Amidst all the controversy surrounding Michael Phelps' apparent pot-smoking habit, I'm reminded of my freshman year in college back at good ol' UC Santa Barbara. I lived on the first floor of our dorm tower, and the entire UCSB swim team lived right above us on the second. Let me tell you, there was never a bigger bunch of stoners than those guys. They would hork down b-loads before dawn and then head over to the pool for three or four hours of swimming laps. So yeah, swimmers are partial to the green, how the heck else do you think they could endure the mind-numbing boredom of swimming practice?!?

Priorities

The Los Angeles Times has posted a list of all the State of California offices that will be closed today due to the ongoing budget crisis. Here's a partial list...

CLOSED:
* Department of Motor Vehicles
* Housing Finance Agency
* Mental Health
* Social Services
* Teacher Credentialing Commission
* Veterans Affairs
* Workers Compensation

OPEN:
* The California State Lottery (natch)

Big Fall

From this...


To this...

FEBRUARY 5--Meet Stephen Bishop. The California man was arrested this week for the mid-December robbery of a liquor store. Surveillance video shows that Bishop, 49, made sure to wear a baseball cap when allegedly sticking up the Market Express Liquor Store in Grover Beach. Bishop, jailed in lieu of $450,000 bail, is pictured in a mug shot taken by the San Luis Obispo County Sheriff's Department.

[h/t Baughb]

Diminished Capacity

It seems like it really hasn't taken long at all for the Republicans to make President Barack Obama seem somehow ineffective. I even find myself succumbing to the rhetorical bullshite, and lawd knows I hate me some lyin'ass Republicans.

How can this be?

President Bush

Guess who's president of Cheney University?

Yep, that's him.

Cramps for Kidz

Here's a wonderful Cramps interview...

R: "That's the advice for you kids: 'Don't try.'"[h/t Joe W.]

Unsolicited Lit?

Sometimes spam can make for the strangest kind of poetry....

Greetings.

a book, you want
"There is a part
You also made a

Sincerely, Earnestine James.

Obama Takes His Case to the People

It's about time somebody came out swinging...

"But these numbers that we're seeing are sending an unmistakable message -- and so are the American people. The time for talk is over. The time for action is now, because we know that if we do not act, a bad situation will become dramatically worse. Crisis could turn into catastrophe for families and businesses across the country.

"And I refuse to let that happen. We can't delay and we can't go back to the same worn-out ideas that led us here in the first place. In the last few days, we've seen proposals arise from some in Congress that you may not have read but you'd be very familiar with because you've been hearing them for the last 10 years, maybe longer. They're rooted in the idea that tax cuts alone can solve all our problems; that government doesn't have a role to play; that half-measures and tinkering are somehow enough; that we can afford to ignore our most fundamental economic challenges -- the crushing cost of health care, the inadequate state of so many of our schools, our dangerous dependence on foreign oil.

"So let me be clear: Those ideas have been tested, and they have failed. They've taken us from surpluses to an annual deficit of over a trillion dollars, and they've brought our economy to a halt. And that's precisely what the election we just had was all about. The American people have rendered their judgment. And now is the time to move forward, not back."

Spendthrifts

Wall Street executives claiming that a $500,000 annual salary is not enough money to live on reminds me of the time during the last NBA work stoppage when players' rep Patrick Ewing explained the problem the players had with the salary cap:

"Yeah, we make a lot of money, but we spend a lot of money, too."

More Lux

I was trying to describe Lux Interior to a guy at work this morning and the best comparison I could come up with (to give a layman the right idea about the Cramps) was to say that Lux was like Liberace on LSD.

Things Are Tough All Over

Steve Lopez at the LA Times overhears a conversation....

WALL STREET CEO: Hi, honey, I'm at the office and I've got horrible news.

CEO WIFE: Oh, my gosh. Is Obama cutting back on the bailout?

CEO: It's worse than that. He's ordering pay cuts for Wall Street bosses whose companies get handouts.
[...]
WIFE: What kind of a pay cut are you talking about?

CEO: Brace yourself. It's $500,000.

WIFE: Well, that's harsh, and Obama must not have any idea how hard you work. But I think we can get by on $10.5 million a year.

CEO: No, you don't get it. My pay would be $500,000. That's it. Honey? Honey, are you there?

WIFE: Yes, I'm here. I'm breathing into a paper sack.
[...]
CEO: Honey, it's tough all around.

WIFE: This isn't just cruel, it's bad economics. Do they realize how many people we employ?

CEO: That's another thing. We can't justify six full-time landscapers.

WIFE: Do you expect me to mow 22 acres of lawn?

CEO: At the very least, we may have to switch to illegal immigrants.

WIFE: Honey, they ARE illegal immigrants.
[...]
WIFE: Couldn't we just cut health benefits for the entire domestic staff?

CEO: We don't pay any benefits.

WIFE: Oh my, this is a nightmare. It's, oh, oh . . . .

CEO: Honey? Are you there?

WIFE: I'm breathing into the bag. What am I supposed to tell friends?

CEO: Tell them what I said all along: This wouldn't be happening if John McCain had picked Mitt Romney.

Lux is dead. Long Live Lux.

Opened my email to this news from TNN [Thailand News Network]...

Inevitable tragedy has struck. Not sure how many times I saw The Cramps. Too many to forget. One favorite show, among many, was at a bullfighting ring in Lisboa in with Social D opening. Lux fell part way through a hole in the stage during the show, much as I did on Lisa Altmar's Del Playa balcony a decade or so earlier.

Drink, and then eat, a bottle of wine in his memory.

Indeed. I saw the Cramps just once. It was at the Anaconda Theater right there in downtown Isla Vista, California. If memory serves, Lux kept to his diet of wine (and bottle) consumption and ended up, as always, a bloody mess on the stage. RIP Lux.

Lux Interior, front man for the groundbreaking punk band The Cramps, died today in a Glendale, Calif., hospital due to complications from a pre-existing heart condition, according to a news release issued by the band's publicist. There are conflicting reports about the singer's real age but IMDB.com lists it as 60.

Misery or Disaster: All They Have to Hope For

David Kurtz at TPM gets down to the brass tacks under the GOP carpet...

It occurred to me while reading Politico's interview with Dick Cheney, that the GOP's plan to regain political viability in the short term rests on two disaster scenarios: the failure of the financial rescue efforts (stimulus, TARP, and other bailouts) to stave off complete economic collapse and a new mass casualty terrorist attack -- both of which they are positioning themselves to blame Obama for.

Without one of those two, they have to figure it's going to be a long time wandering in the political wilderness. Now think about the curdling effect, the blight on the soul that comes with rooting for such disasters to befall your country. The rot is now eating at the party's very core.

GOP Slips Further into Parody, Irrelevancy

Believe it or not, now these tools have [Not] Joe the [Not] Plumber advising them on economic policy. You just can't make this kind of stuff up...

When GOP congressional aides gather Tuesday morning for a meeting of the Conservative Working Group, Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher – more commonly known as Joe the Plumber — will be their featured guest. This group is an organization of conservative Capitol Hill staffers who meet regularly to chart GOP strategy for the week.

Wurzelbacher, who became a household name during the presidential election, will be focusing his talk on the proposed stimulus package. He's apparently not a fan of the economic rescue package, according to members of the group.

"I Screwed Up"

Three little words that never passed Dubya's lips... Here's the President on NBC Nightly News talking like a grown up:

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